There are many broken marriages because of the physical or mental incompatibility. People marry without knowing each other. They take the oath of living together forever as soul mate and in very first night they come to know this relation will not last any longer because of incompatibility! Still you try to patch up things but within a year or so you feel like enough is enough. You can’t spoil your whole life for your oath. You deserve a better life and with a heavy heart you broke up and move on.
In Indian sub-continent, this is a tremendous problem. We can call such unions as blind marriage where boy and girl didn’t see and talk to each other until they get married. Families of bride and groom make all the arrangements and they feel quite proud about it and believe it is morally correct. We can minimize such incidents of illogical practice resulting in divorce, if we let boy and girl to meet and understand each other completely before marriage. Let them spent some time together before they marry each other.
We do see some successful blind marriages, but in most of the cases such marriages succeed only because of wife does all the sacrifices to save her marriage. Her parents always tell her that if she disobeys her husband she is wrong, and there is no space in their home for her if she came back after fighting with her husband. Can there be anything more ridicules’ than this? Society preaches such behaviour as morality!
Time had come when we should raise our voice against such stupidity so-called morals. In small cities and villages you can still find such practice. I do not understand logic of it in a society which allows co-education . But when it comes to marriage it becomes somewhat objectionable if bride and groom want to see or talk to each other before marriage, the whole family will have problem. As blind dates are dengerous, so are blind marriages which can ruin your entire life.
In Islam, Marriage is a permanent contract between man and women to live together with consent. Man is allowed to divorce wife in extreme condition but divorce is not considered as a good act. If a husband pronounce Divorce three times in a row or after a period of time both husband and wife will be separated permanently. Re-marriage with each other after divorce is forbidden except in one condition. If divorced wife marry with someone and consummate the marriage and later due to some reason if her second husband divorces her with his own will (or dies), then in that case first husband can marry his ex-wife. This is known as Halala. This condition was laid down to stop divorce as their re-marriage is very difficult. In Quran it is clearly mentioned as below:
(2:230) And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah . These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know.
In Pakistan and some other Muslim countries, people have made it their business. They volunteer themselves to marry divorced women and divorce her next day after copulation with her. This practice is totally against Islam and equivalent to prostitution. Because your marriage is not legal if your intention is to divorce her very next day after having sex. Some people even charge money for this service. Ironically, many husbands who love their wives but divorce them in heat of moment, in anger or due to misunderstanding have no other choice than Halala. Even Muslim cleric’s are involved in such exploitation of women.
Furthermore, Zafar Iqbal Kalanauri in ‘Marriage, Divorce and Re-Marriage (Halala) in Islam’, furthers this thought:
“There is no concept of Halala in Islam. This is something that has been made by some Muslims and unfortunately is now seen as part of the Shariah by some Muslims. The rule of the Holy Quran is that if a man divorces his wife for the third time in one marriage contract, then the wife cannot go back to the man unless she (genuinely) marries another man and then (genuinely) is divorced by that man… this rule should not be dealt with by pre-planned marriage and divorce.”
These guys had made marriage and women such a joke. Once a serious condition to stop divorce is now becoming opportunity for prostitution. Below is link to one such website with HALALA advertisement. Young boys are volunteering themselves free of cost. They have no shame left. They are talking like they are offering themselves for a noble cause but they are just spreading lewdness. All Muslims must refrain from such practice. Do not give three Talaq (Divorce) together.